Shopping Around and Being a Drama Queen

So last week we had our "financial consult" with SIRM Dallas...

For for me to donate my eggs to be used for Janet to have IVF we are looking at the following costs:
Single Cycle with Ovum Donor, Gestational Carrier, or Ovum Donor & Gestational Carrier

$11,550.00

Included:
Office Visits
Venipunctures
Serum estradiol hormone tests
Ultrasound exams of uterus and ovary(ies)
Egg Retrieval including procedure room fee and surgical supplies
Culture and fertilization of embryos
Embryo Transfer (ET) with ultrasound guidance and supplies
Two (2) Beta hCG pregnancy tests

Not included:
Meds
Anesthesia Supplies
Anesthesia Provider
Assisted Hatching
ICSI, etc
(you get the picture)

Given that after our first meeting I wasn't exactly in love with Dr. Saleh- he wasn't capable of performing a miracle with my wife's beautiful ova- and using donor eggs is a fairly basic, fertility clinic procedure- We/I decided we needed to shop around. Doctors Le and Haas in Irving will work with lesbians (where one wants to donate an egg to the other- or at least that is what we've heard) and their fees appear to be SO much less! We have a consult with Dr. Haas this Thursday.

Due to my PCOS, Dr. Saleh asked me to come into his clinic for a day three FSH test and a glucose tolerance test. Not wanting to go to some fertility clinic where I lacked relationships, I opted to call my most favorite UT Southwestern. On Friday I did the glucose tolerance test and this morning I did the day three FSH. My favorite nurse Jennifer just left me a message with the FSH test results:

FSH: 6.9- good
E2- 88- not so good.

Jennifer said she was going to check with Dr. Wilson to see if she wanted me to come in to see if I have cysts, which are known to cause elevated E2 levels. Well my friends, I have PCOS- so of course I have cysts (or at least I did 2 years ago when I was diagnosed).

I'm now off to frantically search the Internet to find out what can be done to get the E2 levels down even though I have PCOS or at least determine if I should be worried- because right now I'm having a little coronary.

Loss and Hope

Loss and hope are what we are feeling in our household after phone consult over the phone with Dr. Saleh of SIRM.

While Janet had filled out lots-o-forms pre-consult, her actual records from Dr. Wilson's office had not yet made it over. We couldn't answer the specific questions like "what was her FSH level on day 3 and on day 10". All I could say was that I remembered she had been borderline.

Consult thoughts/feelings:
Dr. Saleh was about 30 minutes late in calling. Not abnormal for a doctor, but for some reason, waiting by the phone made both of us more anxious than if we were in the office. He was apologetic and patient as I conferenced Janet in. As was previously mentioned, during the chart review, he didn't have much to go on other than what we could recall. Who knows why charts take so long to get from point a to point b in the day and age of digital medical records... He was blunt but kind about our state of affairs which I appreciated. He was a bit remedial in explaining the details of ovarian reserve, declines with aging, etc, but I'm sure patients at the beginning of the process would have been more appreciative. When I disclosed my PCOS status as a potential egg donor, I didn't like that he questioned whether or not my PCOS diagnoses was real or not- I didn't go to a some backwoods doctor- I went to an expert in the field who gave me thorough review. Overall, he a little condescending but confident, competent, and straight forward.

During the consultation he expressed surprise that Janet had been encouraged/allowed to do 9 medicated IUI's at her age and hadn't been immediately encouraged to do IVF while she was still 44. I didn't really know how to respond. Dr. Wilson wasn't pushy and we weren't keen on the expense. In hindsight, it might have been worth it- aggregated cost of 9 medicated IUI's, sonograms, sperm would have probably equalled the cost of one IVF... Oh well.

The net of the overall conversation was that Janet has chosen to use use my eggs. This is where the sense of loss comes in. I can't imagine, for Janet, how it must feel to be told that you can't use your genetic material. I know that she must have some fantasies about her baby- his or her natural traits, etc. My heart weeps for her, for us. I think I've mentioned it in blog posts before, but I have dreams of our sturdy little boy or girl with her brown almond shaped eyes and round rear end- The little boy or girl with the silent but deadly sense of humor and the mischievous glimmer of the eye and an affinity for all things athletic.

On the hope side of the scale, we now have hope that we could have a baby this year, or at least she could be pregnant with one. I started to write "complete hope", but that isn't exactly true. I have PCOS impacted eggs- we have no idea how I'll respond to drugs, how the eggs could be impacted by insulin exposure, etc. We also don't know exactly how much all of this is going to cost and how we can pay for it. I have a feeling we are going to go the much advised against route of borrowing against the 401K's- at least we would be paying interest back to ourselves.

So, next steps with SIRM:
- Chart review with the IVF nurse: J & M
- "Financial" consult: J & M
- FSH testing: M
- Fasting insulin & glucose test: M

After we meet with the IVF nurse I'm sure I'll have more updates on the treatment protocols.

9th time wasn't the charm

For those that inquired about our status- thanks for the prompt.

I've been avoiding blogging, for fear of not being able to say anything positive- in fact, I wrote an entirely bitter and angry post that I subsequently deleted, but at least I got the words out of my system.

After Janet peeing on what must have been $80 bucks worth of pregnancy tests, aunt flow came raging in. My heart broke for her every time the pregnancy test said "not pregnant". There are only so many times you can laughingly add "yet!" to the statement.

I called SIRM and Janet has a consult with them next week. Depending on what the doctor says, on to IVF we go. Now we get to figure out where the money is going to come from as well.

Sorry for the morose post.

SIRM

MBW's brother and wife are attepting to have a baby via IVF and have stumbled upon a new Doctor/Clinic after a poor experience with CAR.

The new clinic is the Sher Institutes for Reproductive Medicine and they are seeing *I think* Dr. Walid Saleh. In first going through their website, it looks like they are going to be gay/lesbian friendly based on reason five here.

Does anyone out there have experience with SIRM? If you had an experience, how was your patient experience, did you find it to be more or less expensive than other clinics, etc?