Sunday, February 7, 2010

First Negative Reaction

I tend to live my life in an up front sort of way.  If you are going to talk about your family, I'm going to talk about mine, without regard to how it may be different than yours.  Its led to fairly open and respectful relationships with everyone I choose to allow into my life.

We don't choose our family- and hence, when my sister found out we were expecting, 2nd hand accounts recount she went through the roof.  She's a very conservative Christian Republican who lives in Alabama.  Need I say more?  I'm a bit unsettled- but then again, she didn't respond to our wedding invitation, so why would this be any different?

I truly shoudn't care.  She and I didn't grow up together- she's more than 20 years my senior-we're not biologically related.  I really don't want to care.                   


anofferingoflove said...

Still, that sucks and is painful. I'm sorry. ((()))
it's probably cliche (and unhelpful) but it really is her loss.

Rainbow Family (B and J) said...

Sorry to hear about your sister. I have had some negative reactions from my family but am just trying to focus on all the really positive people around us

cindyhoo2 said...

It sucks that she couldn't just be excited for you. I hope you will not allow her to steal even a tiny ounce of your joy.

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry. How frustrating. If only people could appreciate how important love and commitment are - in every family. My family are conservative southern Baptists living in Michigan, also very Republican. It isn't easy and often tough, but keep at it. Keep pushing people to change. Keep showing the love that you are.

Your perspective is similar to mine, respectful sharing, but I'm more persistent when it comes to my family. I don't know why. They are actually step-family and could walk away if they wanted, I know they disagree with homosexuality, but for some reason they don't. So I just keep loving them and sharing my love.

Wish it were easier. Wish everyone would smother you with love and well wishes. Maybe there will be some really awesome in your life to make up for the few less-than-ideal.

Susan Goldberg & Chloe Brushwood-Rose said...

Hi Meredith & Janet,

I found your blog on Congratulations on your pregnancy! I hope you don’t mind me writing to tell you about my book.

I am coeditor of a new anthology on queer parenting, just released in the United States (not sure if it's available in Australia yet, but we do have one Australian contributor): And Baby Makes More: Known Donors, Queer Parents and Our Unexpected Families. As we say on our cover copy, it’s “a funny and occasionally heartbreaking collection of personal essays that offers an intimate and unprecedented look at the relative risks and unexpected rewards of queer, do-it-yourself baby-making. While in many cases these are stories of finding (or not) the “right” biological stuff for baby making, they are also stories that call on us to re-conceive of family beyond biology.”

We’ve been getting great reviews from the likes of Bay Windows (“And Baby Makes More is a thoughtful, funny, and poignant volume about the variety of ways we define families today.”), Mombian (“... the kind of rich explorations of LGBTQ parenting we need more of today”), The Dominion (“The stories in this collection are loud and inspiring examples of courage, creativity and love and queer parenting. ... This book succeeds in the most urgent of the game: creating a space for the stories to be heard.”) and the Gay & Lesbian Review (“... diverse, poignant, and sometimes very funny.... surprising, enlightening and mandatory reading for any lesbians or gay men thinking of embarking on adventures in the wild world of parenthood.”)

I hope the anthology might be of interest to you, and to your extended circles of family and friends. We’d very much appreciate it if you would pass on the word to anyone you think might enjoy the book, which is available online and at many independent and alternative bookstores. You can find more information as well at my blog:

All the best!
Susan Goldberg