She lost it...

...and then found it again.

Lupron suppression with BCP's ended on Saturday and THANK GOODNESS. That stuff made me absof#$%inglutely crazy. The physical effects were mild- just a few tension headaches- but my mood- down right foul.

I totally lost it on Saturday when I was supposed to start stims- 175 iu of Follistim. As a refresher- I bought my Follistim from a European distributer to save a bit of cash- and the clinic said it was ok. It came under the brand name Puregon. The drugs had been sitting in fridge waiting for this splendid day- I hadn't opened them assuming they were vials and corresponded to the obscenely large number of insulin needles the clinic had ordered for us. Imagine my surprise when I open the package at 10:30 pm Saturday night to take my injection only to find that the vial is made for a pen- and a pen wasn't included. Then I found that my dosage was in IU and the syringes only measured cc's. Naturally my sense of self reliance kicked in and I started googling- only to be reminded that IU's and cc's aren't exactly convertable- IU isn't a volume measure. So, temporarily freaking out, I call the doctors after hours line, only to be told "I don't know how to help you...didn't the nurse tell you what to do?". I totally lost it at that moment. Janet was in the other room watching SNL and had no idea that I was crying. I don't think I have cried that hard- perhaps ever. In my emotional state all I could see was 1/4 of my 401K down the toilet and our dreams of a baby gone...all because I wanted to save some money and order from an overseas pharm. I yelled at Janet, I yelled at myself, I sobbed for what was at least 15 minutes. My beautiful and amazing wife calmed me down- just her hug brings me to clearer thinking.
Clearer thinking took over. My vial was for 600 iu- I knew that my dose was supposed to be 175 iu- that meant that there were 3.4 doses of that amount per vial. Then I figured out how many cc's was in the vial- ~75. 75cc p/vial divided by 3.4 doses means that a 175 iu dose would equal ~22 cc's. I proceeded to be very impressed with myself and did the deed! WOOOOO hoo. Sunday in the early afternoon the doctor called me back to find out if I'd managed to get a Follistim pen- at which point I informed him what I had done. He was impressed and I felt vindicated. He told me to do my thing Sunday night and then when I stopped in on Monday to have my E2 labs done that they would give me a pen from one of their sample kits. Needless to say- I made sure to ask for the pen when I got there this morning. Now I'm just waiting for the call back RE: my next dosage.
Also in queue:

Psych Evals- Thursday

Embryo Agreement- sometime this week