Background: I grew up in Florida, which until recently had an enforced ban on adoption by gays and lesbians. While there, I knew that I could never protect my family if the child of my same sex relationship was born in Florida.
When I moved to Texas, I learned that because Texas does not specifically forbid gays and lesbians from adopting, family courts in Bexar County (San Antonio) and Travis County (Austin) have interpreted the law to allow for second parent adoptions by the non birth giving individual within a same sex couple. While Travis County only allows Travis County residents to go through the court system for second parent adoptions, Bexar is open to residents of all Texas counties. I did enough research to find at least two options for lawyers who work with Dallas area couples and have a few recommendations for social workers. Until Tuesday, I've always felt lucky to live in Texas, where though conservative we may be, legal interpretation has taken the side of permissiveness. I've even taken some bit of pleasure in providing additional feedback to blog entries that say the opposite regarding Texas. I have an issue with people not taking advantage of the legal tools available to them to protect their families/their rights and then ending up in court, putting a child through hell.
For some reason, I woke up from a dead sleep at 2:30 am on Tuesday, absolutely livid that a child that is genetically related to me and birthed by my wife, would in no way legally be connected to me until I invited a social worker into our home, paid thousands of dollars to an attorney, and stood in front of a judge in San Antonio to prove myself worthy. I know this will pass, and I'm not going to put my future child at risk by attempting to protest the system- but I'm having a moment...
Remember us?
14 years ago
6 comments:
Yeah - same here. We know just how lucky we are to have those rights (sometimes, even, without the home study; here there are counties that don't require it, and your attorney can file in that county even if you live in another), but it makes me so so SO angry to think about having to get a court to sign off on it, and having to spend so much money to do so. It's not fair in the least.
I know - it sucks. We did the Bexar county adoption if you want any info. It was actually really fun, and sorta a validation of our joint parenthood, the closest legal thing us Texans get to legal marriage for now...
P.S. I'm about three weeks behind y'all, so lead the way to some babies!
you have every right to be livid - its beyond infuriating!
i like to think that someday our children will look back on these ancient relics of 2nd parent adoption decrees and just shake their head at the sad state of the world the year they were born (and appreciate how much has changed in their lifetimes!)
Amen sister! TN has similar laws and loopholes. We have to do the same sort of things here. On the one hand, I am glad we can.... on the other hand, it sucks. It is 2009, why do we not have federal legal protections??!
Well, if it makes you feel any better, we live in a quite liberal state and we did the same thing you two are doing...And my partner STILL has to adopt her children even though they are biologically hers. Nope, it's just not fair all around.
I'm excited your cycle is under way and YES, there was a whole lot of Lupron involved!
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