Friday, January 2, 2009

One Year, Six Tries, Maintaining Hope

After sucking oodles of information from the internet, blog rolls and books, I think it is time to contribute something back to the internet.

My partner and I have been together for four years and were married in 2007 in Canada. We reside in Dallas, Texas in an ever evolving craftsman bungalow with four dogs and two cats. We’re lucky to live in very gay friendly, family friendly, diverse community.

I knew we were forever when I started daydreaming about raising children with her. Is there anything more intense than the thought of a partner willing/committed to raising little humans who may need years of therapy once you’re done with them- or- a partner who views your genetic material as something good enough to use to create new life? Perhaps I take these things to seriously, or maybe I’ve just thought way too much about it!

We started our trying to conceive journey last January, with Dr. Ellen Wilson of UT Southwestern Medical Center. She had been recommended by one of the Dallas parenting groups and I had a previous good experience with her related to PCOS treatment. My beautiful wife (henceforth MBW) was to be the first carrier, due to age, immediate desire, and accommodating work environment. With MBW’s age being over 40, Dr. Wilson’s prognosis for pregnancy was not bright, but she was encouraged by the outcomes of the initial sonograms and Clomid challenge.

We selected our donor from the California Cryobank (They have awesome Customer Service!) based on his RH factor (MBW’s RH negative), height, SAT scores, athletic ability and ability to infuse humor into something so clinical as a sperm donor profile. Our first order was supposed to arrive in time for a January insemination, but, due to shipping debacles on the part of FedEx (did I mention I had to call FedEx and let them know that the tank contained “human specimen” and they needed to get it here fast), it didn’t arrive in time, which turned out to be a blessing! Janet scored a new, wonderful job at a local not for profit hospital and was slated to start in February. FMLA doesn’t kick in until you’ve been on the job for a specific period of time, so we knew the stars must have aligned for us.

Since then, MBW has been inseminated six times via IUI. The first cycle was natural, no drugs, just our wonderful Clear Blue Easy Fertility Monitor. The next five were medicated with Clomid and monitored via vaginal sonograms. Four of the medicated cycles were at 25 mg of Clomid and the last cycle the bumped the Clomid up to 50 mg. We’ve used trigger shots for three cycles as well, but they are primarily for our convenience versus necessity. Also, for anyone else TTC’ing in DFW, the trigger shots are least expensive at the Las Colinas Target (Think ~$70 versus ~$100+ at most other locations that carry them)

This month will be try seven. We went in for the day four sonogram this morning and as per usual, everything looks great. We did have a more frank conversation with the doctor performing the sono and nurse Jennifer (the best nurse in the office!). While not easy, we are starting to think of IVF with my ova/eggs but her carrying. It is hard for me to consider. One of the things I would love most in the world is to have a little MBW in the house, regardless of gender. This morning we went so far as to price the process, but we won’t stop trying business as usual.

We try to keep our hope alive each month we find out we aren’t pregnant by viewing it as the beginning of yet another opportunity to create a new life.


Tyler Tuszynski said...


BTW - who is the warm fuzzy laugh riot and who is the smart alec?

N said...

Welcome to the internet.

Heidi said...


I wish you tons of luck for try #7!!

I'm Heidi, I'm the GLBT clicker for the Lost and Found and Connections Abound :)

I look forward to following your journey!!


(email me if you need anything...even just someone to talk to!!) heidimingo at gmail dot com

Anonymous said...

hi! i saw your blog announcement on stirrup queen's website. welcome to the blogsphere!

good luck with your upcoming iui. hope it works and you can avoid moving on to ivf!

cindyhoo2 said...

Hi-- just stumbled across your blog! Good luck with the IUIs. Hopefully this month will be the charm.

battynurse said...

Welcome to blogland! I hope that your next try is successful. I know the IVF is expensive and a stressful thing but however you get there I hope that the parenting happens for you both. I also wanted to say that if you order the trigger shot from Freedom Pharmacy it is significantly cheaper (like $35).

Travelher and Pufferfish said...

Welcome to blog land from a former Dallas lesbian and someone rather close to your partner's age. Perhaps we know each other. My partner and I are also considering for her to donate eggs to me and I carry. I know what you are talking about! Good luck on this most recent IUI.