My sister in law is having twins.  We're invited to her showers and I'm at a loss as to what to buy.  I know all of the things that have been most helpful to us thus far:  Velcro swaddles, bouncy seats, high end baby swing, boob like bottles, quantities of clothing and swaddles that stretch my laundry intervals, etc.  What I don't know is, what things might be uniquely helpful to parents of twins?  She's registered for everything and the kitchen sink but it completely open to whatever she receives.  HELP moms of multiples!  I know you're out there!

Teething Mess

Will is already teething- at 3 months!  Holy buds!

He's been drooling up a storm- I had always wondered what those flimsy cotton bibs were for...and now I understand.

He's had been cranky or screaming each evening and for bouts in the morning.  We were afraid he was getting sick or we had a late onset of colic.  In a brief moment of desperation this morning I grabbed a teether from the refridgerator.  I'm not sure I've ever seen his mood change so fast!  Nom nom nom on the cold brought about an all out smile.

This.is.too.early.

Modern Art Diapers?

I'm not sure if I've ever fully conveyed my love of contemporary/modern art here.  Our house is covered in works by Janet's amazing father, Bill- an engineer turned meditating monoprint artist.  We spend time art show hopping in our hood and attending openings with Janet's parents.  During Will's first 10 days of life, he attended Bill's gallery opening. 

I also enjoy wearable art- I dig hand dyed stuff, funky t-shirts, scarves, etc.  This is where art diapers enter in.  BumGenius, the maker of BG 4.0's and Flip, just introduced Art prints.  I'm in love.  My prior review of the BG's- well, now they get extra points, big time.  My kidlet, will now have wearable art in the form of the coolest diapers ever.  I've gone out and purchased one of each.

:::continues to swoon:::

Cloth Diapers Rock: Daycare, 11 ish lbs

In my prior cloth diaper post, I mentioned how One Size AIO/Pocket type diapers didn’t really fit Will when he was 0-10 lbs. Well my friends, they still aren’t the best. Will has some skinny legs. Janet and I rejoice over anything on his thigh that even slightly resembles a roll! You might ask, well, why are they using one size instead of sized? I know I could use sized, but both cost and hassle wise, that wouldn’t make sense either. I didn’t/don’t want to have to figure out what to do with a complete stash of x or y size every time he grows out of it. I might be making my way over to the dark side on a two size system though. What I didn’t mention in my prior post was how much I hated pocket diapers even before Will was born. Stuffing and remembering which insert goes with what diaper is annoying. You will see these themes in my reviews.

Onward to daycare info. When sending a kid to daycare in cloth, one must remember two key things: Always be grateful the daycare will use them and keep it VERY simple. Using these two principles I have two categories of diapers: Pre daycare and daycare.

Definitions:

Pre-daycare diaper: Right before we walk out the door, I put him in a diaper that is easy for the daycare to take off. These diapers usually have snaps that took me a minute or two to figure out when I first tested them on Will, so I wouldn’t want daycare to have to deal with them.

Daycare diapers: Diapers that are both easy to put on and take off, almost always Aplix/Velcro/hook & loop and occasionally the easiest of snaps.

My reviews of diapers of each category

Pre-Daycare Only Diapers

Fuzzibunz: Of all the pocket diapers, these have fit Will best all along thanks to the adjustable legs. It’s a pocket, so I still hate stuffing it, but it is easier to (un)stuff than most others. This is pre daycare only because the snaps aren’t particularly easy to deal with or adjust. These come in pretty nifty colors and have never leaked for us.

BumWear: These diapers are beautiful (batik prints!) and fit well! I hate to cover these up because they are so cute and incredibly soft on the inside. They aren’t the easiest to use due to lots of snaps and the stuffing is a pain, but they work really well. They roll down in the front for the newborn phase, snap down in the rise and have leg snaps so you can adjust the size of the leg. Along with the adjustable leg, they have an inner gusset that seems to be great at holding in infamous EBF poop and have never leaked

Pre-Daycare and Daycare Diapers:

Bumgenius 3.0 and 4.0: Super easy diaper with the aplix, pain to stuff, super absorbent, but occasionally leak around the legs. I hate the pastel colors.

Flips: This is an all in two diaper versus a pocket and isn’t a pain to (un)stuff by any means. It is essentially a snapping cover a BumGenius Sized soaker lays in. Like the BG, it’s been known to leak around the legs. This is one of the only snapping systems we send because the snaps are very basic to figure out (no overlaying). Theoretically, we could probably send extra soakers with this instead of more diapers because the cover wipes clean- but as it leaks around the legs, why bother. The colors available on these are a little nicer.

GroBaby: Another all in two. This one we had high hopes for as I adore the aplix/Velcro type stuff and the idea of being able to just change the soaker if it was a pee diaper. It is easy to snap in/out the soakers and thus you have to touch less pee/poop when washing. Unfortunately, we’ve yet to have a diaper where the pee or poop didn’t get on the cover. Apparently the GroVia’s have a layer of PUL now so you can wipe them off. They’ve also been known to leak around the legs.

Happy Heinys: See Bumgenius description. Two additional pros for these though: better colors and made in the U.S.

Kissaluvs Marvel One Sized All in One: Coolest diaper ever. This diaper has a soaker that’s attached. Instead of having to pull it out to wash, it flips out on its own. The only slight annoyance is having to flip it back in after it washes, but I’m more willing to do it because I didn’t have to figure out which soaker goes with it or put my hand in a dirty diaper to pull it out to wash. While it has snaps, they are easy to use. This diaper is sized generously and occasionally leaks around the legs. I think in a few pounds I will love this diaper. These get extra points for decent colors and being made in Texas.

Thirsties Duo Diaper size 1: These diapers make me want to cross over to the dark side. They are a two size diaper system: Size one is ~6 to 18 lbs and size 2 is 18+. I bought one on a whim because I love love love Thirsties Duo Diaper Covers. Not only are these easy to use just like the covers, but the diaper has an opening on each end, so you can throw the diaper into the wash and the insert agitates itself out! Thanks to the size 1 generally being cut trimmer and the adjustable rise, these always fit. They never leak thanks to the double gussets. They are also the trimmest of the bunch and work well under the G.ap jeans Grandma bought. These get extra points for colors and being made in the U.S.

All in all, I’m not ready to write off any of these diapers. For the reduced ick and work factor, I’m heavily leaning towards the Kissaluvs and Thirsties.

Packing the daycare bag
My bag always includes: 

• Two changes of clothes
• Two Wetbags- one with 6 clean diapers, one empty and ready for clean diapers. I really really adore Planetwise zippered bags. I have 4 of those and 2 Thirsties mini duffels. I bought so many knowing that at some point I would get behind on laundry. 

Feel free to share your experiences with me! Have I missed any of your favs?

Record Sealing?

We’ve been working with an attorney in Austin via phone and email for our second parent adoption. The initial motion is in place, my fingerprints have been taken, and the social worker has been contacted. As the balls are in motion, I was sent a copy of the initial filing, a draft copy of what the judge will sign, etc. Both the initial filing and draft of what the judge will sign call for the records of the adoption to be sealed. As an adopted person who worked incredibly hard against my sealed records to find out about my background, my heart sank. I don’t want my son’s record sealed. There is NEVER a reason in existence to justify sealing an adoption record.


I have a call out to find out if we can have the clause changed or if it’s required. I really wish she would call me back because just thinking about it makes me angry.

Cloth Diapers Rock: The first 10 lbs

I think I posted a long time ago in a far away place about our using cloth diapers. We were originally going to wait until Will hit the 10 lb mark. A horrible case of diaper rash, little clear mini marble things being left on Will’s parts from both Huggies and Pampers, and ill fits of aforementioned brands prompted us to start MUCH earlier. Because he was so little when he came home, we didn’t have a single AIO/Pocket diaper that would fit.


What did work:
• Osocozy unbleached cotton prefolds.
I purchased these gently used on a whim. In the infant size, they were pretty big, but I could just fold down the top a bit and not only did it fit well, he had more absorbency where he needed it. I found that while I could have just trifolded them in a cover, a well placed Snappi kept them nice and fitted around the legs.

• Thirsties covers
These are wonderful. Both the duo size 1 snapped down to its smallest setting and the XS worked like charms. The leg gussets really helped prevent any leaking/blow outs. Did I mention how great the colors are?

• Kissaluvs Fitted
We were given a bunch of size 1’s at a shower, and I could actually make them work. While looking around to buy more, I found out they make a size 0 specifically for newborns. Oh my gosh, they are the best things EVER. Super soft, super easy- I wish that I had started off with a full stash of Kissaluvs.  Recently I'm on a kick to buy majority USA/Canada made and was thrilled to find out Kissaluvs are made in Texas.  I ordered several seconds from their website and had a great experience- they even through in free wipes.

• Wool Covers
I bought a couple of hand knitted ones on Ebay. They were cute, had draw strings at the waste and never leaked. I recently washed them with Eucalan and found the process easy enough, but they definitely need another lanolizing session. Eucalan, even after soaking for 6 hours, didn’t leave enough lanolin in the wool to keep it from wicking. Lesson learned: Just use the instructions on DiaperPin instead of trying to do it the “easy” way.

Washing Routine: Easy peasy! I wash the pail when it looks like its halfish full. I do a warm rinse (in Texas, even our cold tap water is warm!), warm wash with Rockin Green’s Hard Rock (Also made in Texas), extra rinse (cold, warm, whatever), and then line dry.  I'm tempted to try Crunchy Clean, another small US company, but, so far, if RnG works, I can' really justify switching.

Normally, I’m THRILLED with line drying. It’s a few minutes of peace in the sunshine every few mornings. This morning, it rained, I’m less thrilled. Two loads of diapers, wet bags, and wipes are now soaked because I thought the rain was showing up at 6 pm today instead of 6 am. Ugh.

Oh, and I forgot to mention, cloth wipes- best things ever! They are so much easier for cleaning up “messes” and I don’t have to have an extra trash can in Will’s room. I really really like the wipes I bought from Quilter’s Nappies. When I run out, I move on to baby washcloths. They work great as well. The official biggest waste of money ever? The Prince Lionheart Wipes Warmer. It molded my wipes! I kept thinking something smelled funny and low and behold, mildew. I’ve moved to just a Gladware container with wipes and diaper solution (water, tea tree oil, a little baby wash) and its working great.

Next up:
Cloth Diapers Rock:  Going to Daycare!

Breathing is easier now.

While I never got around to writing a birth story (it was a routine c-section without much to tell), some of it might end up being interspersed here.


Today was a big day for Will’s mommies. It was a big day, not because today was his two month checkup, not because the doctor swooned all over him, and not because he received his vaccinations- but because he’s made it out of the 5th percentile for weight.

When little Will was gestating, we never thought he was going to be big baby. Janet never really looked 40 weeks pregnant, no one ever joked that she was as big as a house- so I just assumed he was going to be a high 6, low 7 lb baby. Dr. Lo always seemed to be on the same path as well.

Fast forward to delivery day. When I was huddled at Janet’s face, waiting for them to bring him over from the initial check lungs/wrap in blanket stage of delivery, I couldn’t figure out why it felt like it was taking them forever. I looked to see the scale on the warming cart- 5lbs, 9.8ozs. “What the F$%%???” was the first thing that went through my head, immediately followed by, “Did we do something wrong?”. His vitals were fine, but it wasn’t my imagination, it was taking longer because they spent more time warming him. Holding tiny William for the first time, was akin to mortal fear combined with complete joy. Was he truly healthy, did he have an underlying condition, why is he latching on to my nose, he looks like a cute old man in a tiny body...all questions/thoughts streaming though my head. Dr. Lo tried to convince me that Will’s weight was at one time a normal baby weight. She’s right, but I still felt scared/worried, etc.

The next 2.5 days were spent with a two fold mission, stop his weight loss and keep him warm. He had problems latching- not with the will to latch- he came out rooting for the goods-but with the- my mom has big boobs and I have a small mouth- how do I make this work? The day before we were to leave, he had lost more than 10% of his birth weight, so we were handed formula to supplement. While Janet was working so hard at breastfeeding, we succumbed- as nice as they were at the hospital, we just wanted to be home. By Sunday, he had gained enough weight to be let out of jail. The weeks following release were filled with scales, weight checks, and visits to the lactation consultant. At his first non weight check pediatrician visit, he was 5th percentile for weight, and 50th for height- I don’t remember his head. We were highly encouraged to bring back a baby double his birth weight to his two month check up.

~2 months later, our little man, while not doubling his birth weight, is a happy 10lb 4oz boy and in the 25th percentile for weight. He’s happily hanging onto his 50th percentile for height, measuring in at 22.25 inches. I finally know his head measurement (why is that one so hard to remember?)- 15.25 inches, which places him in the 25th percentile as well.

Our little man will probably never have chunky thighs or baby rolls- but his mommies can now stop stressing out over him sleeping an extra hour here and there.

Sir Cuteness. That is all

I have no idea why I'm having such a hard time getting on here to blog but- I'm going to barrage you with pictures instead of an actual post.

Pics from this week coming soon!

We're off to Janet's two week followup.

He's Heeeeeeeeeeeeere!

On 7/1/10 at 8:08 am, William Joseph was born by c-section (as planned). My beautiful son came out weighing 5 lbs, 9.8 ozs and measuring 19 3/4 inches. Janet is recovering fast and breastfeeding is going ok. I have no way to express the joy and euphoria over my incredible wife and new son. More later when we're home (and I'm working with more than an iPhone!

Belly Pics- last friday.

I am slow getting this up.  Below are Janet's 38 week belly pics!

Pics taken by iphone, so quality not super- but will do in a pinch!

What's in a name?

When we decided to on a name for our baby boy, we wanted to name him for someone we admired. Without much thought, the first name we landed on was her brother's. We didn't think all the way through the implications to his future family. What if he had a son? One thing we really never thought about was- what if he had a son who wasn't named after him. Would that son wonder why his cousin was named after his father instead of him? I had never really thought through all of the "what's in a name" implications.


So now, we're trying to figure out what to do with our son's name. Our son's name had been a combination of both her brother's name and her father's name- two men we admire and hope our son will one day emulate. We could simply change the order of the names, we could change the names altogether. I'm just not sure. I've been calling my son by his original name since he was 18 weeks cooking. It feels odd to call him anything else. We will change his name- but for now, I'm mourning the loss of the original one.

What could be smarter 2 weeks before the birth of your child than starting a kitchen renovation?

Thats right folks- here we are, with a c-section scheduled for 7/1 at 7:30 am- and a kitchen rehab starting.  While it does sound dramatic, here's what we're doing:

• Creating storage by enclosing this stupid bar area in the kitchen, making it functional.  Right now the brilliant person who designed our kitchen put in a bar-bar is pushing it, really, its formica countertop supported by a ledge on the wall and a leg at the end.
• Extending an existing hanging cabinet to include shelves for cookbooks.
• Getting new countertops

I'm very sure the cabinetry will be taken care of by due date- its the countertops I'm worried about.  Between cost, appearance and function, we still don't know what we want AND can afford.  What I think we want is Silestone/Caesarstone/insert other quartz composite.  What I think we can afford is granite, which I just don't generally like appearance wise, but seems to be less expensive in our 'hood.  Outside of the whole decision making process, I've heard so many horror stories about countertop product not being available at the right time, installers having to do the job twice, taking forever, etc.  Ugh.

Pictures/Plans forthcoming.

The Sperm-Donor Kids Are Not Really All Right

The Sperm-Donor Kids Are Not Really All Right


I’m sure that most of you have read Slate’s article by now, so I won’t bore you with recapping, however I will bore you with my personal reactions.

My first feelings on this were best described as, oh just another crock of shit, right wing sponsored article. As I continued to read however, I thought about it from many angles. Having found out I was adopted only a year or so ago, I understand the plight of a person who wants to figure out their connection to the world. While I found my biological mother and have closure on that part of my lineage, I still wonder about my biological father. It isn’t a wonder that makes me feel disconnected from the world, just a wonder that causes me to think wow, there is someone out there that gave me this logical personality, dimples, and short stature- I wonder what he would be like to chat with at dinner? While I was on the frantic search to figure out if I “fit” better into my genetic family, I had angry feelings of “how dare I be deprived of information”, “I can’t believe that people don’t protect their genetics more”, “Adoption is wrong, genetics should be kept together”. I think this is far more a reflection of my mother never telling me the truth, never sharing what she knew and finding out on accident, more than my real feelings. I have nothing in common with my biological mother, I’m not more like her, she wouldn’t have been a good mother- and frankly, as crazy as I think my mother is-I’m so glad she raised me. My genetic mother gave my mother a gift and in return, my mother raised me to be a smart, confidant, self reliant person. I have almost a full picture and no longer feel any anger. The surveys I took regarding adoption when I found out about my adoption versus now would reflect very different results, and that just takes into account a year’s time.

This brings me to my feelings on sperm donation, egg donation, gamete adoption, etc. Based on my adoption experience, I absolutely know that my son will feel deprived of something at some point. I know that he will wonder where his comes from or yearn for a connection with his genetics. I hope by constantly being open and honest with him, sharing all the information we have, and providing him avenues to find out as much info as he can he will not be a negative statistic. I hope that he will feel connected to our family, embraced for who he is as a family member versus ½ of his genetic makeup. I hope that he will recognize we understand his need to connect to the broader world in some way. I also know every child’s personality is different. He may never think about it or have loyalty traits that prevent him from feeling like its ok to ask. He may be intensely curious and take the information we have and figure out who his father is. Really, with everything the cryobanks provide now, it wouldn’t be that hard to figure out who biological fathers are.

In conclusion, I can’t debase the feelings of those donor survey respondents, but I can say after I found out I was adopted, I sought out every survey I could to let the world know how pissed off I was. In my more calm state, I haven’t responded to any surveys, but if I did, the results would be very different. Do I think genetic connection is important to children- yes, so sperm donation, egg donation, adoption, etc all matter. However, I think when these things are open and honestly talked about within the family structure and not clouded with shame and secrecy, children fair better emotionally.

So there you have it, my 8th grade quality essay on the article.

Cranium Found!

Janet’s OB appointment Friday involved an internal exam as well as the normal Doppler fun. She did her exam- cervix is still soft and closed, his head isn’t quite fully dropped yet (I think that’s the terminology?). After she was done and much to my surprise, Dr. Lo (the best OB EVER), offered me a pair of gloves and asked me if I wanted to feel my little boy’s head.  Of course I said yes, gloved up, followed and instructions.   Lo and behold, there was the most wonderful bump of a cranium. I know its crazy, but I’m totally in awe- I felt my little boy’s head- he’s really going to be here soon!

Am I absolutely insane for wanting this diaper just because it will look terribly cute while little Andrew watches Gator Football with me on Saturdays?

Every time Nicki's Diaper's restocks, I'm just a little too slow to get one.  Grrrrr.

On another note, I've ventured into wool soakers.

I picked these up on ebay last night.

From SweetandVicious

From KozyDesigns

Anyone else out there use wool at night?  Know someone who has blogged about it?

Breast Feeding Class

Yesterday, Janet and I made our way to the hospital where she will deliver for their breastfeeding class. The class was conducted by a Labor & Delivery Nurse/Certified Lactation Consultant.

The pro’s:

• She was great at pitching the benefits to baby and mom

• She tried her best to use both father and partner

• She gave easy to remember techniques for achieving good latch (Can you forget nose to nipple?)
The con:

• From the baby’s we were given to demonstrate the hold techniques to the videos we viewed, everything was VERY white and/or upper middle class targeted.

I have to admit, I’ve never spent much time thinking about the social politics of breastfeeding and baby nutrition. The only dad in the group was of Asian decent. As the practice baby was handed out, he made a comment similar to “What- no Asian eyes? This couldn’t be my baby.” While it was funny- it was also true. All of the practice babies were fair skinned with blue eyes. In a town like Dallas that is predominantly Hispanic, I was totally embarrassed at the lack of even practice dolls that were at least reflective a little diversity.  Breast feeding is so important to the wellbeing of a child that we/hospitals/encouragers should bend over backwards to make families feel supported and embraced in the classes.

Next part of the con that made me wax a little more thoughtful: While we were there, sitting in front of the $150+ breast pumps required for working moms who want to breastfeed, I started thinking of all the WIC dollars I had seen spent at our local grocery stores on formula. I’d always been curious as to why these families would use their WIC money on formula when breast milk is free. While I can’t possibly know why families do what they do, I can make an educated guess that many of the mothers work. If they are working and on WIC, sinking over $100 into a breast pump so that they can work and breastfeed probably isn’t in the question. Also, a WIC mother working in an environment where she could take a break to pump is probably suspect. As I was typing this, Google rewarded me with WIC information. Apparently in Texas, there is a breast pump program. The program covers all sorts of pumps!

So, now I’m back to the whole WIC participant’s employers being less friendly to pumping. Texas has no law (at least per LLLI- I didn’t get farther than that in my research) mandating room for pumping or even time allowed for pumping. Working in big business, I know that my business is far more generous than Federal/State law, and a company’s policies are all that really matter. I know how large businesses with low wage workers can be convinced to allow/enable/encourage pumping- all it takes is a business case, i.e. lower rates of absenteeism due to child illness and lower turnover rates. It’s the small business/self employed case I can’t really think through. Those of you out there in small businesses or self employed: How would you craft a case?

Regression

Normally I like the word regression.  It inspires me to think of all kinds of fun statistics and math pleasure.  Unfortunately, this is not the kind of regression I'm experiencing now.

Mr. Andrew is schedule to make his entrance by c-section on 6/30- and I'm completely useless.  I can't make decisions.  Example:  I had to message a friend last night because I couldn't decide/know if onsies/footie pajamas/a partridge in a pear tree should be hung or folded.  WHO CARES!  I should have just made a decision and gone with it.  I also find myself diapering teddy bears and researching things that aren't important in the scheme of things until I'm blue in the face.  UGH. 

Cloth Diapering Update

So, we’re in for a run of cloth diapering. We’ve had amazing support from the ladies in blogworld and from our local mom’s group. We’ve had mommies and daddies go so far as to offer to walk us through a day of diaper washing. Pretty awesome advice was given and I feel VERY supported.

So far we are planning to use disposables until he’s >10 lbs so that we don’t have as many one size diaper fit problems. I think Janet also plans to use disposables if she’s out and about with the baby, but I’m leaning towards just learning to use the wet bag.
Diaper Stash so far:

6 GroBabys + 8 extra shells/soakers (4 gently used from Craigslist, 2 new, but discounted due to GroBaby becoming GroVia.
2 Flips + 6 inserts (Diapers.com did a 15% off with the code MAY15!)
3 Bumgenius 3.0 One Size (Gently Used)
2 FuzziBunz One Size (Gently Used)
2 Happy Heiny’s One Size (Gently Used)

Am I missing any that you absolutely love?

I’m also going to supplement the stash with some prefold and cover goodness. I found a local green diaper service that also sells intro sets for a reasonable price. Get this, the super nice lady who runs the service is even going to prep them for me!!! (The one thing of which I’m most fearful)

After practicing putting all the diapers above on various teddy bears last night, it seems that using prefolds and covers couldn’t be much more difficult. I haven’t diapered a baby in a LONG time, so I have a feeling many more teddy bear diaper sessions will be in order. I need to find out if I have any friends who have newborn size dolls…

So far, my favorite cloth diapering websites are:
DiaperPin: Holy Info Batman!
Nicki’s Diapers: Good prices and an outstanding gently used section
Cloth Diaper Outlet: Fast shipping, good sales
Craigslist

Nursery in progress part 2

There are few things better in life than having smart and organized women take over for a weekend.

Before Janet's cousin and niece arrived our nursery looked like this:

We would walk in and just stare because we didn't even know where to start.  We had been given so many awesome things by our coworkers- but where do you start organizing?

They got us rolling some basic organizational tips like- lets get all the clothes out of the bags and stack by size, lets group towels and bath stuff here, etc.

By the time they left, everything had a place and even pictures were up.

All we need now is a lamp for the rocker, floating shelfs behind the rocker, floating shelves to the left of the changer, and diaper pails.  We not sure if we are going to leave the bean bag chair in, but if we don't, we have an empty corner.