Monday, February 2, 2009

Just because I'm still in a mood...

The email I received from two different reps from CAR:

Thank you so much for contacting the Center for Assisted Reproduction. We do treat same-sex females who wish to become pregnant using donor sperm with IVF as well as IUI. However, we do not treat patients using a gestational carrier for social reasons. We only use that treatment when it is medically necessary (when the woman does not have a uterus or cannot carry a pregnancy. Therefore, we would treat either you or your partner using donor sperm. However, our clinic policy would not allow either partner to donate eggs to the other. Please let us know if you have additional questions or concerns. We wish you the best of luck!

My response:

Thank you for your previous responses. I'm trying to better digest those responses so would appreciate your response to the below.
My partner is 44, soon to be 45 . It was judged that she has less than a minimal likelihood of pregnancy with her own eggs. Our doctor recommended that she pursue pregnancy through donor eggs.

Per your website:

What features are important in selecting an egg donor?Ideally, the donor should be a woman less than age 30 who is anon-smoker, has no history of prior infertility herself, is of normal body weight, and has an unremarkable medical and genetic history. A known donor between the ages of 30 and 35 may be selected by the couple if she is a suitable candidate. Assessment of the donor's ovarian reserve with antral follicle count and ovarian volumes by ultrasound are used as predictive tests for both anonymous and known egg donors.

It appears that if my partner were my friend, and I met your normal egg donor assessment (I'm 27, with normal test results as outlined above), I could donate to her. However, because she is my domestic/same sex partner, I cannot.

Please validate this distinction. My friend is also considering an egg donor and I would like to know if your policy would preclude me from donating to her, should I meet the criteria.

Needless to say, I haven't heard back yet. I should probably drop this, but I feel the point needs to be made. If they are going to refer to one situation as utilizing a gestational carrier (Same sex partner) and simply a donor egg situation for another (friend), I would appreciate it if they would just admit that they have a social bias.

:::End Negativity:::

On a positive note, the fertility monitor went up to the two bar mark today, so we know that yet another opportunity for a miracle is in the works. My wife is an amazing, positive, laid back and warm person. I'm so lucky that she wanted to go and continues to go on this journey with me. We are both so lucky to also have found support and help at UTSW with Dr. Wilson and the rest of the staff at the clinic.


Anonymous said...

im a little delayed in responding here, but i just wanted to say what absolute crap the email from CAR was. have you heard back after your email??

Anonymous said...

UNbelievable. And, yet, totally believable.