Tuesday, February 24, 2009

The universe said it had a different plan

Well, the universe didn't accept my plea. Rather than giving it the finger, I'm going to take the view that it is telling me to wait for a greater plan.

As we sit here, eating our favorite trashy supper of 2 cans of Ranch Style beans mixed with a can of Ro*tel, lightly sprinkled with cheese, we are on day 3 of our next IUI. If this doesn't work, we'll move on to plan b- IVF for her, with my ova. I'm scared of the drugs, the expense, and of not having a baby genetic Janet in this world- but I'm happy that we have options. We have plenty of options, which I suppose is why, 8 months of negative tests later, we are still positive.

A co-worker and friend suddenly passed away last weak, taking me back to one of my core principles: Life is precious- treat it with care, humility, and respect. We can't let an unfulfilled want ruin our ability to appreciate what we already have, which is a life full of laughter, joy, learning, family, friends, art, altruism...I could go on.

Amsale Berhanu- you were a light in this world. I am thankful to have learned so much from you.

2 comments:

anofferingoflove said...

sorry to read about the negative. good for you to be able to put it in a bigger context though. it's so easy to lose perspective.

here's to lucky #9!

cindyhoo2 said...

It is so tough to accept the disconvergence of our plans and the plans of the universe. I hope that your new acceptance brings you your hearts' desires.