4 months

Dear William,


You were four months old yesterday. In one breath it seems like we’ve been together forever and in another it seems like no time at all. During your appointment today, I couldn’t help but beam with pride as you showed off for Dr. Rogers. You two chatted like you had not spoken for ages. You’re starting to make not just one coo but a variety. You smiled and batted the eyelashes of your big blue eyes like a professional flirt. You also had to show how strong you were by grabbing Dr. R’s hands and shirt and pulling your neck up to the sky while on your tummy. While I already knew you could roll over, you almost did it for Dr. R.

Now for a little mushy stuff. I never thought I would be that mom. You know, the ones who have to leave parties early because they just cant bear to be away from their kids?. On Saturday, your mommy and I became those moms. You were scheduled to hang out with Marissa the super sitter from 7 to midnight so we could dance the night away at a Halloween party. About 9 your mommy and I looked at each other and both decided that we missed you too much to stay! All we wanted was to hang out with you and listen to you laugh and make funny faces. I believe that will be a common trend. Not only do we love every ounce of you, forever and ever, but think you’re pretty darn cool too!
Love,
Mommy

My sister in law is having twins.  We're invited to her showers and I'm at a loss as to what to buy.  I know all of the things that have been most helpful to us thus far:  Velcro swaddles, bouncy seats, high end baby swing, boob like bottles, quantities of clothing and swaddles that stretch my laundry intervals, etc.  What I don't know is, what things might be uniquely helpful to parents of twins?  She's registered for everything and the kitchen sink but it completely open to whatever she receives.  HELP moms of multiples!  I know you're out there!

Teething Mess

Will is already teething- at 3 months!  Holy buds!

He's been drooling up a storm- I had always wondered what those flimsy cotton bibs were for...and now I understand.

He's had been cranky or screaming each evening and for bouts in the morning.  We were afraid he was getting sick or we had a late onset of colic.  In a brief moment of desperation this morning I grabbed a teether from the refridgerator.  I'm not sure I've ever seen his mood change so fast!  Nom nom nom on the cold brought about an all out smile.

This.is.too.early.

Modern Art Diapers?

I'm not sure if I've ever fully conveyed my love of contemporary/modern art here.  Our house is covered in works by Janet's amazing father, Bill- an engineer turned meditating monoprint artist.  We spend time art show hopping in our hood and attending openings with Janet's parents.  During Will's first 10 days of life, he attended Bill's gallery opening. 

I also enjoy wearable art- I dig hand dyed stuff, funky t-shirts, scarves, etc.  This is where art diapers enter in.  BumGenius, the maker of BG 4.0's and Flip, just introduced Art prints.  I'm in love.  My prior review of the BG's- well, now they get extra points, big time.  My kidlet, will now have wearable art in the form of the coolest diapers ever.  I've gone out and purchased one of each.

:::continues to swoon:::

Cloth Diapers Rock: Daycare, 11 ish lbs

In my prior cloth diaper post, I mentioned how One Size AIO/Pocket type diapers didn’t really fit Will when he was 0-10 lbs. Well my friends, they still aren’t the best. Will has some skinny legs. Janet and I rejoice over anything on his thigh that even slightly resembles a roll! You might ask, well, why are they using one size instead of sized? I know I could use sized, but both cost and hassle wise, that wouldn’t make sense either. I didn’t/don’t want to have to figure out what to do with a complete stash of x or y size every time he grows out of it. I might be making my way over to the dark side on a two size system though. What I didn’t mention in my prior post was how much I hated pocket diapers even before Will was born. Stuffing and remembering which insert goes with what diaper is annoying. You will see these themes in my reviews.

Onward to daycare info. When sending a kid to daycare in cloth, one must remember two key things: Always be grateful the daycare will use them and keep it VERY simple. Using these two principles I have two categories of diapers: Pre daycare and daycare.

Definitions:

Pre-daycare diaper: Right before we walk out the door, I put him in a diaper that is easy for the daycare to take off. These diapers usually have snaps that took me a minute or two to figure out when I first tested them on Will, so I wouldn’t want daycare to have to deal with them.

Daycare diapers: Diapers that are both easy to put on and take off, almost always Aplix/Velcro/hook & loop and occasionally the easiest of snaps.

My reviews of diapers of each category

Pre-Daycare Only Diapers

Fuzzibunz: Of all the pocket diapers, these have fit Will best all along thanks to the adjustable legs. It’s a pocket, so I still hate stuffing it, but it is easier to (un)stuff than most others. This is pre daycare only because the snaps aren’t particularly easy to deal with or adjust. These come in pretty nifty colors and have never leaked for us.

BumWear: These diapers are beautiful (batik prints!) and fit well! I hate to cover these up because they are so cute and incredibly soft on the inside. They aren’t the easiest to use due to lots of snaps and the stuffing is a pain, but they work really well. They roll down in the front for the newborn phase, snap down in the rise and have leg snaps so you can adjust the size of the leg. Along with the adjustable leg, they have an inner gusset that seems to be great at holding in infamous EBF poop and have never leaked

Pre-Daycare and Daycare Diapers:

Bumgenius 3.0 and 4.0: Super easy diaper with the aplix, pain to stuff, super absorbent, but occasionally leak around the legs. I hate the pastel colors.

Flips: This is an all in two diaper versus a pocket and isn’t a pain to (un)stuff by any means. It is essentially a snapping cover a BumGenius Sized soaker lays in. Like the BG, it’s been known to leak around the legs. This is one of the only snapping systems we send because the snaps are very basic to figure out (no overlaying). Theoretically, we could probably send extra soakers with this instead of more diapers because the cover wipes clean- but as it leaks around the legs, why bother. The colors available on these are a little nicer.

GroBaby: Another all in two. This one we had high hopes for as I adore the aplix/Velcro type stuff and the idea of being able to just change the soaker if it was a pee diaper. It is easy to snap in/out the soakers and thus you have to touch less pee/poop when washing. Unfortunately, we’ve yet to have a diaper where the pee or poop didn’t get on the cover. Apparently the GroVia’s have a layer of PUL now so you can wipe them off. They’ve also been known to leak around the legs.

Happy Heinys: See Bumgenius description. Two additional pros for these though: better colors and made in the U.S.

Kissaluvs Marvel One Sized All in One: Coolest diaper ever. This diaper has a soaker that’s attached. Instead of having to pull it out to wash, it flips out on its own. The only slight annoyance is having to flip it back in after it washes, but I’m more willing to do it because I didn’t have to figure out which soaker goes with it or put my hand in a dirty diaper to pull it out to wash. While it has snaps, they are easy to use. This diaper is sized generously and occasionally leaks around the legs. I think in a few pounds I will love this diaper. These get extra points for decent colors and being made in Texas.

Thirsties Duo Diaper size 1: These diapers make me want to cross over to the dark side. They are a two size diaper system: Size one is ~6 to 18 lbs and size 2 is 18+. I bought one on a whim because I love love love Thirsties Duo Diaper Covers. Not only are these easy to use just like the covers, but the diaper has an opening on each end, so you can throw the diaper into the wash and the insert agitates itself out! Thanks to the size 1 generally being cut trimmer and the adjustable rise, these always fit. They never leak thanks to the double gussets. They are also the trimmest of the bunch and work well under the G.ap jeans Grandma bought. These get extra points for colors and being made in the U.S.

All in all, I’m not ready to write off any of these diapers. For the reduced ick and work factor, I’m heavily leaning towards the Kissaluvs and Thirsties.

Packing the daycare bag
My bag always includes: 

• Two changes of clothes
• Two Wetbags- one with 6 clean diapers, one empty and ready for clean diapers. I really really adore Planetwise zippered bags. I have 4 of those and 2 Thirsties mini duffels. I bought so many knowing that at some point I would get behind on laundry. 

Feel free to share your experiences with me! Have I missed any of your favs?

Record Sealing?

We’ve been working with an attorney in Austin via phone and email for our second parent adoption. The initial motion is in place, my fingerprints have been taken, and the social worker has been contacted. As the balls are in motion, I was sent a copy of the initial filing, a draft copy of what the judge will sign, etc. Both the initial filing and draft of what the judge will sign call for the records of the adoption to be sealed. As an adopted person who worked incredibly hard against my sealed records to find out about my background, my heart sank. I don’t want my son’s record sealed. There is NEVER a reason in existence to justify sealing an adoption record.


I have a call out to find out if we can have the clause changed or if it’s required. I really wish she would call me back because just thinking about it makes me angry.

Cloth Diapers Rock: The first 10 lbs

I think I posted a long time ago in a far away place about our using cloth diapers. We were originally going to wait until Will hit the 10 lb mark. A horrible case of diaper rash, little clear mini marble things being left on Will’s parts from both Huggies and Pampers, and ill fits of aforementioned brands prompted us to start MUCH earlier. Because he was so little when he came home, we didn’t have a single AIO/Pocket diaper that would fit.


What did work:
• Osocozy unbleached cotton prefolds.
I purchased these gently used on a whim. In the infant size, they were pretty big, but I could just fold down the top a bit and not only did it fit well, he had more absorbency where he needed it. I found that while I could have just trifolded them in a cover, a well placed Snappi kept them nice and fitted around the legs.

• Thirsties covers
These are wonderful. Both the duo size 1 snapped down to its smallest setting and the XS worked like charms. The leg gussets really helped prevent any leaking/blow outs. Did I mention how great the colors are?

• Kissaluvs Fitted
We were given a bunch of size 1’s at a shower, and I could actually make them work. While looking around to buy more, I found out they make a size 0 specifically for newborns. Oh my gosh, they are the best things EVER. Super soft, super easy- I wish that I had started off with a full stash of Kissaluvs.  Recently I'm on a kick to buy majority USA/Canada made and was thrilled to find out Kissaluvs are made in Texas.  I ordered several seconds from their website and had a great experience- they even through in free wipes.

• Wool Covers
I bought a couple of hand knitted ones on Ebay. They were cute, had draw strings at the waste and never leaked. I recently washed them with Eucalan and found the process easy enough, but they definitely need another lanolizing session. Eucalan, even after soaking for 6 hours, didn’t leave enough lanolin in the wool to keep it from wicking. Lesson learned: Just use the instructions on DiaperPin instead of trying to do it the “easy” way.

Washing Routine: Easy peasy! I wash the pail when it looks like its halfish full. I do a warm rinse (in Texas, even our cold tap water is warm!), warm wash with Rockin Green’s Hard Rock (Also made in Texas), extra rinse (cold, warm, whatever), and then line dry.  I'm tempted to try Crunchy Clean, another small US company, but, so far, if RnG works, I can' really justify switching.

Normally, I’m THRILLED with line drying. It’s a few minutes of peace in the sunshine every few mornings. This morning, it rained, I’m less thrilled. Two loads of diapers, wet bags, and wipes are now soaked because I thought the rain was showing up at 6 pm today instead of 6 am. Ugh.

Oh, and I forgot to mention, cloth wipes- best things ever! They are so much easier for cleaning up “messes” and I don’t have to have an extra trash can in Will’s room. I really really like the wipes I bought from Quilter’s Nappies. When I run out, I move on to baby washcloths. They work great as well. The official biggest waste of money ever? The Prince Lionheart Wipes Warmer. It molded my wipes! I kept thinking something smelled funny and low and behold, mildew. I’ve moved to just a Gladware container with wipes and diaper solution (water, tea tree oil, a little baby wash) and its working great.

Next up:
Cloth Diapers Rock:  Going to Daycare!

Breathing is easier now.

While I never got around to writing a birth story (it was a routine c-section without much to tell), some of it might end up being interspersed here.


Today was a big day for Will’s mommies. It was a big day, not because today was his two month checkup, not because the doctor swooned all over him, and not because he received his vaccinations- but because he’s made it out of the 5th percentile for weight.

When little Will was gestating, we never thought he was going to be big baby. Janet never really looked 40 weeks pregnant, no one ever joked that she was as big as a house- so I just assumed he was going to be a high 6, low 7 lb baby. Dr. Lo always seemed to be on the same path as well.

Fast forward to delivery day. When I was huddled at Janet’s face, waiting for them to bring him over from the initial check lungs/wrap in blanket stage of delivery, I couldn’t figure out why it felt like it was taking them forever. I looked to see the scale on the warming cart- 5lbs, 9.8ozs. “What the F$%%???” was the first thing that went through my head, immediately followed by, “Did we do something wrong?”. His vitals were fine, but it wasn’t my imagination, it was taking longer because they spent more time warming him. Holding tiny William for the first time, was akin to mortal fear combined with complete joy. Was he truly healthy, did he have an underlying condition, why is he latching on to my nose, he looks like a cute old man in a tiny body...all questions/thoughts streaming though my head. Dr. Lo tried to convince me that Will’s weight was at one time a normal baby weight. She’s right, but I still felt scared/worried, etc.

The next 2.5 days were spent with a two fold mission, stop his weight loss and keep him warm. He had problems latching- not with the will to latch- he came out rooting for the goods-but with the- my mom has big boobs and I have a small mouth- how do I make this work? The day before we were to leave, he had lost more than 10% of his birth weight, so we were handed formula to supplement. While Janet was working so hard at breastfeeding, we succumbed- as nice as they were at the hospital, we just wanted to be home. By Sunday, he had gained enough weight to be let out of jail. The weeks following release were filled with scales, weight checks, and visits to the lactation consultant. At his first non weight check pediatrician visit, he was 5th percentile for weight, and 50th for height- I don’t remember his head. We were highly encouraged to bring back a baby double his birth weight to his two month check up.

~2 months later, our little man, while not doubling his birth weight, is a happy 10lb 4oz boy and in the 25th percentile for weight. He’s happily hanging onto his 50th percentile for height, measuring in at 22.25 inches. I finally know his head measurement (why is that one so hard to remember?)- 15.25 inches, which places him in the 25th percentile as well.

Our little man will probably never have chunky thighs or baby rolls- but his mommies can now stop stressing out over him sleeping an extra hour here and there.

Sir Cuteness. That is all

I have no idea why I'm having such a hard time getting on here to blog but- I'm going to barrage you with pictures instead of an actual post.

Pics from this week coming soon!

We're off to Janet's two week followup.

He's Heeeeeeeeeeeeere!

On 7/1/10 at 8:08 am, William Joseph was born by c-section (as planned). My beautiful son came out weighing 5 lbs, 9.8 ozs and measuring 19 3/4 inches. Janet is recovering fast and breastfeeding is going ok. I have no way to express the joy and euphoria over my incredible wife and new son. More later when we're home (and I'm working with more than an iPhone!

Belly Pics- last friday.

I am slow getting this up.  Below are Janet's 38 week belly pics!

Pics taken by iphone, so quality not super- but will do in a pinch!

What's in a name?

When we decided to on a name for our baby boy, we wanted to name him for someone we admired. Without much thought, the first name we landed on was her brother's. We didn't think all the way through the implications to his future family. What if he had a son? One thing we really never thought about was- what if he had a son who wasn't named after him. Would that son wonder why his cousin was named after his father instead of him? I had never really thought through all of the "what's in a name" implications.


So now, we're trying to figure out what to do with our son's name. Our son's name had been a combination of both her brother's name and her father's name- two men we admire and hope our son will one day emulate. We could simply change the order of the names, we could change the names altogether. I'm just not sure. I've been calling my son by his original name since he was 18 weeks cooking. It feels odd to call him anything else. We will change his name- but for now, I'm mourning the loss of the original one.

What could be smarter 2 weeks before the birth of your child than starting a kitchen renovation?

Thats right folks- here we are, with a c-section scheduled for 7/1 at 7:30 am- and a kitchen rehab starting.  While it does sound dramatic, here's what we're doing:

• Creating storage by enclosing this stupid bar area in the kitchen, making it functional.  Right now the brilliant person who designed our kitchen put in a bar-bar is pushing it, really, its formica countertop supported by a ledge on the wall and a leg at the end.
• Extending an existing hanging cabinet to include shelves for cookbooks.
• Getting new countertops

I'm very sure the cabinetry will be taken care of by due date- its the countertops I'm worried about.  Between cost, appearance and function, we still don't know what we want AND can afford.  What I think we want is Silestone/Caesarstone/insert other quartz composite.  What I think we can afford is granite, which I just don't generally like appearance wise, but seems to be less expensive in our 'hood.  Outside of the whole decision making process, I've heard so many horror stories about countertop product not being available at the right time, installers having to do the job twice, taking forever, etc.  Ugh.

Pictures/Plans forthcoming.

The Sperm-Donor Kids Are Not Really All Right

The Sperm-Donor Kids Are Not Really All Right


I’m sure that most of you have read Slate’s article by now, so I won’t bore you with recapping, however I will bore you with my personal reactions.

My first feelings on this were best described as, oh just another crock of shit, right wing sponsored article. As I continued to read however, I thought about it from many angles. Having found out I was adopted only a year or so ago, I understand the plight of a person who wants to figure out their connection to the world. While I found my biological mother and have closure on that part of my lineage, I still wonder about my biological father. It isn’t a wonder that makes me feel disconnected from the world, just a wonder that causes me to think wow, there is someone out there that gave me this logical personality, dimples, and short stature- I wonder what he would be like to chat with at dinner? While I was on the frantic search to figure out if I “fit” better into my genetic family, I had angry feelings of “how dare I be deprived of information”, “I can’t believe that people don’t protect their genetics more”, “Adoption is wrong, genetics should be kept together”. I think this is far more a reflection of my mother never telling me the truth, never sharing what she knew and finding out on accident, more than my real feelings. I have nothing in common with my biological mother, I’m not more like her, she wouldn’t have been a good mother- and frankly, as crazy as I think my mother is-I’m so glad she raised me. My genetic mother gave my mother a gift and in return, my mother raised me to be a smart, confidant, self reliant person. I have almost a full picture and no longer feel any anger. The surveys I took regarding adoption when I found out about my adoption versus now would reflect very different results, and that just takes into account a year’s time.

This brings me to my feelings on sperm donation, egg donation, gamete adoption, etc. Based on my adoption experience, I absolutely know that my son will feel deprived of something at some point. I know that he will wonder where his comes from or yearn for a connection with his genetics. I hope by constantly being open and honest with him, sharing all the information we have, and providing him avenues to find out as much info as he can he will not be a negative statistic. I hope that he will feel connected to our family, embraced for who he is as a family member versus ½ of his genetic makeup. I hope that he will recognize we understand his need to connect to the broader world in some way. I also know every child’s personality is different. He may never think about it or have loyalty traits that prevent him from feeling like its ok to ask. He may be intensely curious and take the information we have and figure out who his father is. Really, with everything the cryobanks provide now, it wouldn’t be that hard to figure out who biological fathers are.

In conclusion, I can’t debase the feelings of those donor survey respondents, but I can say after I found out I was adopted, I sought out every survey I could to let the world know how pissed off I was. In my more calm state, I haven’t responded to any surveys, but if I did, the results would be very different. Do I think genetic connection is important to children- yes, so sperm donation, egg donation, adoption, etc all matter. However, I think when these things are open and honestly talked about within the family structure and not clouded with shame and secrecy, children fair better emotionally.

So there you have it, my 8th grade quality essay on the article.

Cranium Found!

Janet’s OB appointment Friday involved an internal exam as well as the normal Doppler fun. She did her exam- cervix is still soft and closed, his head isn’t quite fully dropped yet (I think that’s the terminology?). After she was done and much to my surprise, Dr. Lo (the best OB EVER), offered me a pair of gloves and asked me if I wanted to feel my little boy’s head.  Of course I said yes, gloved up, followed and instructions.   Lo and behold, there was the most wonderful bump of a cranium. I know its crazy, but I’m totally in awe- I felt my little boy’s head- he’s really going to be here soon!

Am I absolutely insane for wanting this diaper just because it will look terribly cute while little Andrew watches Gator Football with me on Saturdays?

Every time Nicki's Diaper's restocks, I'm just a little too slow to get one.  Grrrrr.

On another note, I've ventured into wool soakers.

I picked these up on ebay last night.

From SweetandVicious

From KozyDesigns

Anyone else out there use wool at night?  Know someone who has blogged about it?

Breast Feeding Class

Yesterday, Janet and I made our way to the hospital where she will deliver for their breastfeeding class. The class was conducted by a Labor & Delivery Nurse/Certified Lactation Consultant.

The pro’s:

• She was great at pitching the benefits to baby and mom

• She tried her best to use both father and partner

• She gave easy to remember techniques for achieving good latch (Can you forget nose to nipple?)
The con:

• From the baby’s we were given to demonstrate the hold techniques to the videos we viewed, everything was VERY white and/or upper middle class targeted.

I have to admit, I’ve never spent much time thinking about the social politics of breastfeeding and baby nutrition. The only dad in the group was of Asian decent. As the practice baby was handed out, he made a comment similar to “What- no Asian eyes? This couldn’t be my baby.” While it was funny- it was also true. All of the practice babies were fair skinned with blue eyes. In a town like Dallas that is predominantly Hispanic, I was totally embarrassed at the lack of even practice dolls that were at least reflective a little diversity.  Breast feeding is so important to the wellbeing of a child that we/hospitals/encouragers should bend over backwards to make families feel supported and embraced in the classes.

Next part of the con that made me wax a little more thoughtful: While we were there, sitting in front of the $150+ breast pumps required for working moms who want to breastfeed, I started thinking of all the WIC dollars I had seen spent at our local grocery stores on formula. I’d always been curious as to why these families would use their WIC money on formula when breast milk is free. While I can’t possibly know why families do what they do, I can make an educated guess that many of the mothers work. If they are working and on WIC, sinking over $100 into a breast pump so that they can work and breastfeed probably isn’t in the question. Also, a WIC mother working in an environment where she could take a break to pump is probably suspect. As I was typing this, Google rewarded me with WIC information. Apparently in Texas, there is a breast pump program. The program covers all sorts of pumps!

So, now I’m back to the whole WIC participant’s employers being less friendly to pumping. Texas has no law (at least per LLLI- I didn’t get farther than that in my research) mandating room for pumping or even time allowed for pumping. Working in big business, I know that my business is far more generous than Federal/State law, and a company’s policies are all that really matter. I know how large businesses with low wage workers can be convinced to allow/enable/encourage pumping- all it takes is a business case, i.e. lower rates of absenteeism due to child illness and lower turnover rates. It’s the small business/self employed case I can’t really think through. Those of you out there in small businesses or self employed: How would you craft a case?

Regression

Normally I like the word regression.  It inspires me to think of all kinds of fun statistics and math pleasure.  Unfortunately, this is not the kind of regression I'm experiencing now.

Mr. Andrew is schedule to make his entrance by c-section on 6/30- and I'm completely useless.  I can't make decisions.  Example:  I had to message a friend last night because I couldn't decide/know if onsies/footie pajamas/a partridge in a pear tree should be hung or folded.  WHO CARES!  I should have just made a decision and gone with it.  I also find myself diapering teddy bears and researching things that aren't important in the scheme of things until I'm blue in the face.  UGH. 

Cloth Diapering Update

So, we’re in for a run of cloth diapering. We’ve had amazing support from the ladies in blogworld and from our local mom’s group. We’ve had mommies and daddies go so far as to offer to walk us through a day of diaper washing. Pretty awesome advice was given and I feel VERY supported.

So far we are planning to use disposables until he’s >10 lbs so that we don’t have as many one size diaper fit problems. I think Janet also plans to use disposables if she’s out and about with the baby, but I’m leaning towards just learning to use the wet bag.
Diaper Stash so far:

6 GroBabys + 8 extra shells/soakers (4 gently used from Craigslist, 2 new, but discounted due to GroBaby becoming GroVia.
2 Flips + 6 inserts (Diapers.com did a 15% off with the code MAY15!)
3 Bumgenius 3.0 One Size (Gently Used)
2 FuzziBunz One Size (Gently Used)
2 Happy Heiny’s One Size (Gently Used)

Am I missing any that you absolutely love?

I’m also going to supplement the stash with some prefold and cover goodness. I found a local green diaper service that also sells intro sets for a reasonable price. Get this, the super nice lady who runs the service is even going to prep them for me!!! (The one thing of which I’m most fearful)

After practicing putting all the diapers above on various teddy bears last night, it seems that using prefolds and covers couldn’t be much more difficult. I haven’t diapered a baby in a LONG time, so I have a feeling many more teddy bear diaper sessions will be in order. I need to find out if I have any friends who have newborn size dolls…

So far, my favorite cloth diapering websites are:
DiaperPin: Holy Info Batman!
Nicki’s Diapers: Good prices and an outstanding gently used section
Cloth Diaper Outlet: Fast shipping, good sales
Craigslist

Nursery in progress part 2

There are few things better in life than having smart and organized women take over for a weekend.

Before Janet's cousin and niece arrived our nursery looked like this:

We would walk in and just stare because we didn't even know where to start.  We had been given so many awesome things by our coworkers- but where do you start organizing?

They got us rolling some basic organizational tips like- lets get all the clothes out of the bags and stack by size, lets group towels and bath stuff here, etc.

By the time they left, everything had a place and even pictures were up.

All we need now is a lamp for the rocker, floating shelfs behind the rocker, floating shelves to the left of the changer, and diaper pails.  We not sure if we are going to leave the bean bag chair in, but if we don't, we have an empty corner.

Nursery in Progress

So we've finally relieved Andrew's room of its previous toilet yellow coloring.  The fresh white walls should do well with the bright art we have in stock.  We're still trying to decide what color to paint the "accent wall".

So, what we have now:

Ikea dresser turned changing table:

Now I'm waiting for these to get here:

Other things we need to do include:

• Finalize accent wall paint color (some form of green)
• Get the curtains shortened- we're having about 2 feet taken out of the white part.

• Put up art/prints
• Find a mobile- seriously- I never thought mobile finding would be this hard.  If you've seen fabulous and bright mobiles, or black and white mobiles- send me links!!!
• Find an ottoman- also much harder than I thought- small room means small but functional ottoman.  So far, this one is at the top of the list, primarily just because we haven't found anything else that size.

Oil in the Gulf leads to exploration of cloth diapering?

I'm pissed/heartbroken about the oil in the gulf. I've irrationally been breaking down in the car every time NPR has an update on the situation. The beaches of the Florida panhandle, where I learned to swim, thought crabs were going to get my toes and escaped to as a teenager are at risk because of people like me...who often talk "green" and have generally "green" feelings- but don't act. We use plastics like there going out of style. I work 30 miles from home and yet talk up the need for walkable community. While Dallas has public transit, I've get to get on it. We thought about cloth diapering and then decided to use disposable, because its "too much work".


If I'm going to irrationally tear up in the car because my "happy place" is being threatened by oil- I might as well do one little thing to cut down on some environmental impact- so, we're back on a cloth diaper track.

So, for you cloth diapering mamas/dads out there, if both parents worked, how did you make it work? What did your diaper/wash schedule look like?

What diapers would you recommend for a boy?

What are the must have accessories?

Did you use a service? (I like the idea of water/washing economies of scale obtained through a green service).

General wisdom?

Goals- Becoming Andrew's Mom

As I mentioned in my last post, I've gone from a 10 to a 14 in the time Janet and I have been together/married. I've always been a yo yo weight person and haven't ever worried to much about it, but over the past two years, its been an up up up, without in troughs in the graph.


Let me start with excuses first:
• After learning a little bit about my biological family, being chunky is in my DNA.
• I got a promotion at work, you know the kind where you job responsibilities and staff double, but you don't receive additional compensation because its a "growth opportunity"? With the new job, I'm spending way more time at work or at home after work. Add to that 3 graduate classes that are kicking my butt, and taking the hour out to go to the gym or go run just seems crazy.
• With my crazy/late nights during the week, the 7:30 am running class I signed up for on Saturday mornings- not happening.
• I'm tired. All the time. I've spend more on Starbucks this semester that I think I have in my entire life. Not in the morning- but on the drive to school or on my way home.

The rebuttal:

• I must combat the chunky or I will eventually become obese, increasing my risk for heart disease, diabetes, etc.
• This is only going to get harder when Andrew is born, so I should take control of my time while I have a chance. I need to learn to be more self motivated when it comes to my health
• I'm most likely tired because I'm not exercising and eating erratically and poorly. I should stop relying on caffeine and instead rely on the natural high from exercise. I've found that when I start working on a class case assignment after a run, my responses are far more creative.

The goals:
Get a physical. I haven't had one since I've learned more about my family history.

Take charge of my time. Relaxing on the couch will be far more pleasurable if I'm not thinking about all the things I should be doing instead. This means:

• Carving out 4 hours a week for exercise. If I have 16 hours per day to play with (24 hours in a day - 8 hours for sleep- best case), then 4 hours per week only takes up 3.6% of my week.
• Formalize school/study time. I'm horrible. I wait until the last minute to work on cases, sometimes using my theoretical lunch time at work to finish them. This is all while I probably wasted an hour at home watching the ever so craptastic CSI Miami. 4 hours on Sundays and 2 hours on Mondays should do the trick, so 6 hours per week? (5.4% of my week)
• Wife time. I'm terrible horrible about multitasking during my downtime with my love. I can't be a good mom if we don't have focused us time.

Focus on eating more deliberately. I eat out of need for emotional satisfaction, whether that be to relieve boredom, stress, whatever. This will never fully change, but I can be more mindful of it, and make some percentage of choices to satisfy my emotional need in some other way. This means:

• Refocusing behavior. If I find myself wandering for a snack at the office, ask myself the question, why are you doing this? Keep refillable bottles of water in my office fridge as a sidetrack device.

Chill out with the caffeine. Some is good, relying on it to get through an evening- perhaps not the best plan.

• I'm really not sure how to set this one up. I really have nothing left at the end of the day, especially if exercise is involved, so I'll have to address this later.

Baby wearers/Potential Baby wearers

Ok people, I'm a discount baby site whore- and I need to share one of the deals with you baby wearing people.

http://www.babysteals.com/ has Organic Ergo's onsale for ~$70, shopping ~$10.  The one that I just bought is $109 on amazon, so even after shipping, I just saved myself $29.

I still think I want to Moby wrap too- what do you all think?

Bullets so that I can cover a whole bunch of ground and skip around.
• Baby Andrew has been cooking for over 25 weeks now
• I love love love to “palpate” Janet’s belly in an attempt to determine where his head, butt, spine are. So far its really just a bunch of guessing.

• He’s a decent boxer/kicker when he bothers to wake up.

• If you refuse the eye drops in the state of Texas is opens a case on you with the state. We will not be refusing as we have to worry about the second parent adoption. Those eye drops piss me off at the core.

• It snowed here on Saturday/Sunday. As I was driving home from picking up takeout, I was in awe of the moment. A year ago I would never have envisioned that I would be driving home in snow to my pregnant (and very beautiful) wife.

• We’ve finally started cleaning out Andrew’s nursery. For the past ~4 years, we’ve used his room as a big walk in closet, complete with dressers, ironing board, and full utilization of his walk in closet. Finding alternative places is proving to be rather difficult. I apparently have a large quantity of clothes, but nothing to wear.

• The reason I have nothing to wear- I keep gaining weight. When Janet and I met, I was a size 10. Now, I’m a 14. This does not make me happy. So, in the spirit of a few comments I’ve made on other blogs, today starts my NGM gets fit by baby boy’s birthday. So folks, that gives me a little over 3 months to do things that will make me better for our little boy. Specific goals to come.

• As an NGM (non gestational mother), I’m pretty shocked at how, so far, connected I feel to Janet’s whole pregnancy. I expected to experience some jealousy in the process, but so far, nothing. The feelings I can best enunciate are those of pride and intense, perhaps even fierce devotion.

• We’re obsessed with penguins at our house and last night I read, Your Personal Penguin to Janet’s belly.

• I’ve found the rug below on Craigslist and will go buy it tonight. I think it should go great with our generally bright theme.

One more survey

I promise, just one more survey for you all and I'll post a real post:

If you are the primary buyer of cleaning products for your household, this is the survey for you!

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/RF7JXBL

Work and School are sucking up all of my free time!

My Product Marketing class is doing project on eco friendly laundry detergent.  The below survey (I promise it isn't a link to a spam bot, virus, or anything else), will help us with our data segmentation.

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/RQL89YQ

She finally let me take pictures!

These my friends are pictures of my wife's most beautiful 20w1d belly.
Front view:

Side View:

Pregnant bellies are the coolest, most beautiful things ever!

In other news:

• I finally found bright and happy crib sheets! Why are they so hard to find?  Do all crib sheets really have to be in pastel?  I ordered cornflower blue and true blue crib sheets (the only colors available) and a true red crib skirt.  If anyone knows of places other than The C.ompany Store Kids to find bright baby stuff like this- I'm all eyes!
  
  
• We had a great time going to an Andy Warhol opening on Saturday night with Janet's fabulous parents.  I'm not a huge Warhol fan, but perhaps have softened my stance thanks to seeing his abstract pieces versus his silk screen and paint pieces. 
• Valentines day was great- we shared berry pancakes and then a potluck dinner with friends.  I very much appreciate being in a relationship without need for pomp and circumstance but instead its about little constant gestures.  One fun thing about this Valentine's day was daydreaming about helping Andrew write out his first V-day cards.
  
  

First Negative Reaction

I tend to live my life in an up front sort of way.  If you are going to talk about your family, I'm going to talk about mine, without regard to how it may be different than yours.  Its led to fairly open and respectful relationships with everyone I choose to allow into my life.

We don't choose our family- and hence, when my sister found out we were expecting, 2nd hand accounts recount she went through the roof.  She's a very conservative Christian Republican who lives in Alabama.  Need I say more?  I'm a bit unsettled- but then again, she didn't respond to our wedding invitation, so why would this be any different?

I truly shoudn't care.  She and I didn't grow up together- she's more than 20 years my senior-we're not biologically related.  I really don't want to care.                   

We're having an Andrew!

Oh Yeah- we're having a baby boy!  He'll be Andrew Wade- and I'm now having an amazing time visualizing our little boy. 

As Growing up Clangley might say, bring on the tighty whities and cargo shorts!

On a side note, being able to see your baby's bones and vital organs is both the neatest thing ever and a bit disconcerting.  Everything so far is right where it should be.  I was also super impressed at how good the sonographer was at using easily understood terms such as thigh bone instead of femur.

I will be buying fun onsies at lunch!

We Heart G.AP Maternity

So my beautiful wife (as was mentioned in my last post) is almost past the Bella/Be Band stage and into the maternity clothes.  My dearest is not a fan of ruffles, bows, low cut, smocked, swirly/frilly print type clothes- leaving us rather baffled by most things at T.arget, M.otherhood, etc.  G.ap Maternity has been our saving grace.  They have normal button up work shirts AND pants in ankle length for her lower height (If I called her short she would kick my rear!).  Today we ordered two more pairs of work pants, jeans and a plethora of shirts.  I'm saying all of this as a lead in to our conversation. 

I emailed her a confirmation of the order.

Her Reply:  Do you think not eating out for 2 weeks with cover this?
My Response:  Consider them your Valentines day gift?
Her Reply:  No, we aren't spending money on Valentine's Day gifts. How about, "you are carrying my spawn and it is making you pee all night long" gift?

"you are carrying my spawn and it is making you pee all night long"- Quote of the Week!

One hot mama!

My pregnant wife is hot. Hot, beautiful, glowing, radiating- all those and many more affectionate adjectives apply. Between being happily pregnant and in new maternity pants this morning- I couldn't help but stare.

Oh hand-me-downs- how I love the. You’re good for the environment, good for our wallets, and good for our friends’ closets/space.


I mentioned in my last post that we had been gifted a breast pump- now, out of the blue, a friend of a friend is offering us a 3 month old baby swing and some gender neutral onsies.

I’ve fully read the warnings and admonishments on Consumer Reports about used/hand me down cribs, car seats, strollers, etc. Yes, I understand wanting to be as safe as possible, but I refuse to be an alarmist. On the side of safety and statistics, we bought a new car seat system. On the other hand, we bought a used crib from Craigslist. It’s a P.ottery B.arn, not recalled, and according to the person we purchased it from, never slept in because her son wouldn’t get out of their bed. Our rocker is also from Craigslist. We could never have afforded to buy the crib or rocker at their lists prices. Just thinking about the money not spent makes me smile. Butterbean needs a college education!

A friend mentioned having a shower for us. In passing I said that it would be great it anyone who wanted to shopped thrift/2nd hand. I got the funniest face. Oh well, a few people in the room understood.

The next thing I’m going to start perusing for are book sales. Other than baby wearing, the thing that I look forward to most about motherhood is story time. I’ve been checking Half-Price books here for used hardback Caldecott winners, but all they seem to have are the soft covers. I may resort to half.com but I would rather discover the used gems locally.

I should probably worry more about getting a mattress for the crib than books right now- but books are so much more fun.

Ohohoh, and in other news- thanks my boss booking an operations review on top of Janet’s previously scheduled sonogram time, guess who gets to see Butterbean this Friday instead- Ohhhh yeah, that would be us!

Boy or Girl Countdown

15 days until we find out if we are having a boy or girl.


Based on heartbeat, Dr. thinks...Boy

Intelligender, purchased on a whim says...Boy

Actual measured heart rates indicate...Girl

We were hoping for...a baby with a functioning brain and body.

Regardless of s.ex, butterbean and any future siblings will be raised to with the same concepts of self reliance, respect, perseverance, and love. At first, I thought I had preferences- but really- no matter what, we will tailor anything we do to our specific child. I think that’s why having a gender neutral, fun nursery is so important to me...I want to find out who my child is versus telling them who I think they are. I know, in infancy, they really have no idea anyway, but it’s symbolic of what kind of parent I would like to be.

All of that being said- after our gender revealing sonogram, we will not pass go, will not collect $200-until something boy or girl specific has been purchased (but I'm going to try my hardest to ensure it isn't pink or blue!).

On a totally different note- we are getting a br.east pump for free! I think its the Medela Pump In Style. Preliminary research makes it sound like a pretty good one. Janet will have to use it when she goes back to work. Any thoughts?

Morning giggle

Scenario:  Janet walks into the bedroom while getting ready, laments how large her breasts have become.

Me:  What can I do to make you feel beautiful?
Her:  Buy me pizza for dinner. 

Girls Roadtrip Extraordinaire

Tomorrow, my dear friend Mariko and I will embark on a 5 day trip to the Florida Panhandle and back. While I’m a bit disappointed that Janet won’t be joining, this will be a girls road trip extraordinaire, featuring a night in New Orleans and 3 days of music goodness at the 30A Songwriters Festival.


View Larger Map

I’m completely thrilled. In true lesbian stereotype, I’m a swooning fan of the Indigo Girls and most specifically Amy Ray. The music festival appears to be a potpourri of artists, playing in jam sessions at bars along the beach. Friday night my favorite bar, the Red Bar, will host a session with Emily Saliers, Rodney Crowell, Chely Wright, and Gary Louris. I’m not familiar with all of those people, but if their jamming with Emily, how bad could it be? Amy Ray’s playing in a Jam session on Saturday nights, and then there is a general admission, open air Indigo Girls concert on Sunday Morning. I can’t wait to go from bar to bar looking for the best sounds- hopefully I’ll come home with 10 new to me artists to add to my ipod playlist.

I haven’t ever really been “home” as a tourist. It will be interesting to take a friend. Luckily she’s from Arkansas- so she’ll "get" the whole rural meets beach thing. While I can remember some of my favorite hang outs, after living elsewhere for so many years, things start to get a bit hazy. I’m pretty sure I can still navigate the area, but I know I’ll be shocked my how much things have grown. Getting to all of the jam sessions while also figuring what old haunts to visit is going to be hard. Did I mention that we’re going to get to hang out with one of my best friends from high school who I haven’t seen in ages?

Hopefully this will be a trip for new awesome memories with just a smattering of reliving old. I respect the past, but find the present to be so much more rewarding.

Pictures and road trip fun details to follow!

Faith/Religion

I think this is going to be a day full of blog posts because I’ve been queuing them in my mind.


Janet’s pregnancy has made feel the need to reconnect with my religious past. At this time, I have about the faith of a mustard seed, but have reconciled my small amount of faith with Christianity in general. I truly enjoy the traditions/liturgy of church as well as theology. If I’m going to believe in something, I want to think about it intellectually as well. I think our child should have a foundation in Christianity and have the same ability to accept/reject the principles and teachings as an adult as I have. Luckily, though agnostic, Janet will support Butterbean going to church as long as she only has to go when Butterbean is in a performance and can otherwise stay home and make breakfast/lunch/brunch for when we get home.

I’ve tried out several churches in the area, from the totally open and affirming MCC’s, to the accepting Methodist church that is nearby. I don’t feel comfortable in the MCC’s because:

a. I can’t say that I need that level of affirmation every Sunday that God accepts me as I am. I already get that.

b. I want Butterbean to be exposed to the average family mix in church. If Butterbean sees his or her parents accepted in church just like every other family, I think it sends a stronger message of equality than if he/she sees them only in reference to other LGBT families.

c. Selfishly, I just don’t get much out of them. I know church is a give take thing, but I want to leave on Sunday noodling over something in my head, challenging myself over something.

The Methodist church nearby is pretty perfect as it is open and affirming, the minister is great, and its in our neighborhood, so Butterbean will be in Sunday School, youth group, choir, with people he/she already goes to school with.

However, when talking to some close friends, I brought up that I was thinking of going to the Methodist church even though I had grown up a die hard Presbyterian. There aren’t any active Presbyterian churches in our general neighborhood. Close friend brought up that most Presbyterian families in our ‘hood go to church downtown. My brain started processing. Downtown is really only 10 or so minutes away. Initial research shows that the church has some amazing programs for the homeless. What initial research did not show is how said church felt about LGBT inclusion. Being the pre-emptive strike person that I am, I drafted a wee little email to the head pastor.

Dr. XXXXX,


Before my questions, I'll provide a little background. I am a lesbian. My partner and I were married in Canada two years ago. My partner is expecting our first child. While my partner is essentially agnostic, I established my theological base in the conservative PCA and EPC churches. After "coming out" and becoming more comfortable with my role in Christianity, I started attending Metropolitan Community Churches (MCC) but stopped once I moved to Dallas.


Now we have a child on the way and I feel strongly about our child being brought up in church. To this end, I've started trying out churches. I've focused on those that I knew were open and affirming- UMC, MCC, MCC, etc. The more I attend various churches, the more I desire to resume the faith traditions of my youth and also to know that our child will be raised in those traditions. The simple solution seems to be to try out *downtown* church. However, I don't necessarily want to knock on a door where I'm not welcome.


My questions:


Would you consider your church to be open and affirming?


When our child is born, would he or she be welcome at the baptismal font with both parents?


Would our child be welcomed into Sunday School, Children's & Volunteer events?


Your feedback is most appreciated.


Respectfully,


Meredith XXXX

Less than 24 hours later, I had a response:

Thank you for your e-mail, Meredith. Congratulations on your “child on the way!” I would love the opportunity to meet with you to talk about your questions face to face. Let me give you a brief response via e-mail, and if you’d like to talk further, we certainly can:


Would you consider your church to be open and affirming?


Our congregation has made no formal statements that would allow me to say we are “open and affirming.” We have an incredibly diverse congregation, from openly gay and lesbian people to people who are still upset about the ordination of women. This diversity reflects the diversity of our denomination. We have openly gay leaders who serve in elected positions. We also have conservative leaders who serve in elected positions. Having said that, I would conclude we are an open congregation with people who would be affirming and with people who would not be. I would also want to introduce you to people who are gay and lesbian in our church and invite you to pose your questions to them. They would be in a far better place to discuss the nature of our congregation’s welcome than I . Personally, I am for the full inclusion of gays and lesbians in the life of the church and society. I have voted accordingly on every vote to come to the denomination on the issue since my ordination. I speak openly about my opinion. However, our denominational policies are not yet welcoming and affirming. Historically, the denomination’s policies have articulated a position that homosexuality is not consistent with God’s plan for creation, but that the church should advocate for the civil rights of all people, including gays and lesbians. I’m embarrassed to tell you that, but it’s where the denomination is, and I want to be honest with you.


When our child is born, would he or she be welcome at the baptismal font with both parents?
I would absolutely support that request. Our Session approves all baptisms, and my guess is that the Session would approve that request. Baptism is about God’s claim on your child’s life, not about the sexual orientation of the parents. Even those who are not welcoming and affirming would have to concede that fact.


Would our child be welcomed into Sunday School, Children's & Volunteer events?
I would certainly hope so. While we have a number of gay and lesbian members, I don’t believe any of them have children in the children’s programs, so I can’t speak from experience.


I wish I could offer resounding YESES! to each of your questions, Meredith, but to do so would be dishonest. Our congregation is a wonderful church. Our diversity politically, theologically, and socio-economically is part of what makes our church who we are—a church that strives to be welcoming to all, gay and straight, democrats and republicans, liberals and conservatives. This diversity prevents us from aligning ourselves with any particular “side” in the debates, which is frustrating for those who want us to take a side. This is true for most “First Church’s” in most cities. As the church’s pastor, my position has been to make my opinions on the issue known, but to not ask the church to take any official positions that reflect my personal convictions. That’s the most honest answer I can give.


There are “More Light” congregations in Dallas, churches that have officially defined themselves as welcoming and affirming. I believe St. Andrew’s Presbyterian on Skillman is one such congregation. I’m sure there are others. I know there are a number of pastors who share my convictions and whose congregation’s are as diverse as ours.


I pray the Spirit will give you and your partner clarity as you discern where God is calling you to go to live out your life of discipleship and to nurture your child in the faith. Again, I would welcome the opportunity to meet with you to discuss this face to face.


Grace and peace,


XXX

I was impressed with his responses and look forward to trying out the church!  So a question to the blog world.  If you were looking for religious inclusion of your family, what methods did you use to test the waters?

Baby Crap 1.1

Weird/icky search query used to reach our blog this week:


“Pictures_of_girls_pulling_down_there_shirts_and_breast_feeding”

Dear Perves,

If you’re going to be a perve, at least be a perve with grammar please.

Kindest Regards,

There is no perve worthy stuff in this blog

In other news, we bought a fabulous, comfortable C&B rocker from Craigslist on Saturday.
Picture from listing:

While it isn’t a particularly cool color, it did come with a durable slip cover and really, neutral goes with everything. As a color related aside, I’m in love with Amy and Melissa’s orange curtains!

In other consumeristic behavior, I broke down and bought a stroller/car seat combo.

Background:

The Chicco KeyFit had been recommended to us by several friends. I initially balked thinking really, do we need a stroller in the beginning? We’re going to be baby wearers, strollers are annoying, etc. After testing out the stroller in BBB, noticing that without instructions I could figure out how to work the stroller/car seat thingy combo, and noticing how smooth the motion of the stroller was, I was in.

BBB price for Chicco Keyfit 30 bundle: $329
Amazon gift cards available to me due to work awards: $500
Price of Chicco Keyfit 30 bundle on Amazon: $245 + 9.99 shipping
Stroller/Car seat for first year: Free

The set arrived on Saturday and is now waiting patiently in our dining room.

Baby Crap part I

All that cute stuff associated with babies and baby life is now affectionately known is our house as baby crap.  After looking at said baby crap for several many hours with my wife and most wonderful mother in law- I'm baby crap crazy.  The Ikea crib I thought was for us- yeah, lackluster in the store.

Here's the deal- our house is a 1914 Craftsman and is all of 1271 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 1 bath.  Our taste is eclectic- modern meets turn of the century antiques and crazy artwork and brightly colored walls.  Our nursery *hopefully* will keep with that theme, hence the original affinity for the bright blue smallish Ikea crib.  All of the furniture in the nursery is going to have to be on the smallish side, otherwise the room is going to look like a storage closet that happens to house a baby.  All those 4 in 1 cribs- way to big, particularly when Janet and I have fallen in love with this rocker/glider thing at Crate & Barrel.  

Our logic for spending way more than we thought we would on it is that it coordinates with our current sofa and technically can easily go from baby room to living room.  The slipcover is also washable...  On the other hand, while I left this post for a few minutes, Janet and I looked at each other and came to the conclusion that there is no way in hell we should be spending that much money on a chair unless we would have bought it for the living room anyway- which we probably wouldn't.  Back to Craigslist I go.  I just really am not a fan of those gliders they sell and have on display at BRU and BBB.

We're still thinking that an antique dresser will be used for the changing table, but now we're thinking that the one currently in the room is too bulky.  We may be able to switch dressers out between our guest rooms...

Back to the crib.  The other crib we all liked at Buy Buy Baby was $200 more than the Ikea Crib.  Like the Ikea crib, it converts to a toddler bed and mini daybed.  I think we all liked it best because it has some Arts & Crafts period details. 

Since we won't be spending $1,400 on a glider and ottoman, I guess $200 more on the crib isn't so bad eh?
 After looking at cribs we looked at strollers.  Those are another thing that sends my head spinning.  The idea of being one of *those* moms at the mall- you all know the one I'm talking about- the one with the stroller that takes up 1/2 of the walking space and looks like they had to take the house with them just to go out for an hour- makes me gag a little.
 
So, for a later post, my thoughts on strollers and the racket that generally is Baby Crap.

Oddities of being the "non gestational mother"

I'm a Florida Alum and thus bleed Orange and Blue. I know enough about football to not appear totally ignorant- but I still can't get THAT into football. The game is on and what am I doing?..blogging about a few observations of being the non gestational mother (NGM) and genetic mother (GnM). (still, I'll throw in- GO GATOR's!)


As the NGM/GnM below are bulleted feelings/mixed emotions:

• Janet opening the door for me is now a bit disconcerting. We've always done this for each other- as gestures of kindness and romance. Now that she is pregnant, her opening the door for me feels weird, like I'm not living up to my proper role.

• I use "our" too much, as if forcing myself into the connection: our OB appointment, our sonogram, our nursery. I know that this is primarily Janet's experience, and she's one helluva trooper, but for some reason this is my verbal way of staying part of it.

• I have an internal need to tell everyone that I donated genetic material for this pregnancy. I typically restrain myself- but I have a deep seeded need to proclaim "this is my baby too!".

Hopefully Janet will post about her feelings about the being the gestational mother, non genetic mother. We had an interesting sharing conversation about bullet three this afternoon.